i’m on my lunch break right now, so this is a good time as any to blog! you’ll notice i didn’t post a whiteboard wednesday post this week – i really didn’t have anything to say. bummer.
but …
we found a name for our kitty!!! leeloo!
we went through sooooo many names (smokey, pearla, ginger, odessa, omega, leah, nala, kira, zoe, ashen …), probably 100-200, and i one point i suggested leeloo in a text message and criss said he kinda liked leeloo (finally, we each had our own list of names and neither of us liked the other’s suggestions) and it felt perfect, so it stuck!
and she and rosen, monster cat, are getting along fabulously (as fabulously as you can expect when you introduce a new cat to the house). i even caught them sleeping next to each other:
so, all is well in our house – i hope things are splendid in yours. until next time, hugs!
interesting thing about the shake weight. my teacher suggested i use it while singing, to get my body energized and engaged. it actually worked! i sang better (at least i think i sang better).
after i finish writing this i’m going to try my hand at yoga. i’ve been having problems for some time with relaxing, and i occasionally have panic attacks that are accompanied by breathing attacks, in which i start hyperventilating, and it’s pretty darn scary! lately, i’ve been having these breathing attacks while singing, and that’s just a big no no. i can put up with some things, and as miserable as they are, if i have to deal with panic attacks, i’ll do so, but when my mental shit starts messing with my singing, i have to put a stop to it. so i went to the doctor. after talking with her (nice lady by the way, she’s from the ukraine and likes opera) she concluded that i have some form of anxiety disorder, and that my vocal spasms (that happen when i have a breathing attack – my vocal cords tighten up, making it hard to get in the required air) are most likely a result of my panic attacks. just in case, i’m seeing an ear, nose, and throat doctor on thursday to make sure that there isn’t a physical problem with my vocal cords. in the meantime, i need to figure out how to decrease my anxiety, and yoga has been suggested many times. this could be interesting.
i was also prescribed an anti-anxiety drug for “only as needed’” use. i found out yesterday, while testing it to see how it would affect me, that i can’t take a whole pill or i’ll be rendered useless. it knocks me out. and then i wake up groggy, light-headed, dizzy, and feeling generally like shit. i’ll have to stick to half a pill. half a pill didn’t produce any ill effects at all. just don’t know if it will actually decrease my anxiety …
if it comes down to it, i’m going to have to have a major conversation with my mind and clear out all the garbage that’s making my emotions and body react the way they do (possibly with the help of a professional). i’m really jazzed for the ent (hehehehe not the tree guys from lord of the rings, the ear/nose/throat doctor) on thursday – i’m anxious (haha) to find out whether my cords are screwed up or if they are just dandy. at least that will either solve the problem or rule something out.
this blog has absolutely nothing to do with lederhosen. however, this blog has plenty do to with german musicians and german beer, and i even have a little german in me, so i think the title is justified!
if you’re coming over here from my youtube account, welcome, and apologies for the delay on the new post. if you only read me and haven’t watched me, check out my channel: tenebrousllama. the following is a vlog i posted yesterday:
onward!
the germans.
i had the great fortune (or maybe i lost a great fortune – had to give up $30 plus money for music) to sing with the stanford summer chorus, and we were joined by the junge kammerphilharmonie freiburg from (you guessed it) freiburg, germany. you wouldn’t believe the difference it made having them play with us – they showed up tuesday of last week and immediately went into rehearsal with us and zounds (yes, i just made an obscure reference to elizabethan england)! it was as if everyone was suddenly inspired to sing with the best voices anyone could wish for. now, we performed verdi’s requiem and beethoven’s 9th, but i’m only going to talk about the verdi, because i think beethoven is blech and i think ode to joy is especially blech, and i don’t feel like wasting time on it (although, i have to say, if the 9th called for can can girls during the prestissimo at the end, i may be more disposed to like it).
singing in choir is always a fab experience because you meet other people who are just as geeky as you. take michael, who incidentally is an acquaintance of my boss and my friend joel, who was moved to tears while telling a friend about the requiem. awesome, awesome man. and my new mate erik, who stood next to me on the cusp of altoland and bass mountain. we’re all choir buddies. there’s something about people who sing in choir that the rest of the population doesn’t have – it’s a weird quirk (and i’m a huge fan of weird quirks). i can’t quite place my finger on it, but i’m glad to have worked with such enthusiastic people.
erik, lord of bass mountain
the orchestra in stanford memorial church
altoland
(i’m now finishing my entry 5 hours later on my iPhone with burnt fingers. oh joy.)
so we rehearsed with the germans from tuesday to thursday and performed friday and saturday, and in that time we somehow managed to not get to know them at all. you know what that means – beer party!
the phrase beer party is not normally in my vocabulary – i don’t care for much beer, i’ve survived this long without large quantities of beer. quite frankly, it could go away and i wouldn’t care. but … these were germans after all, and they needed their hefeweizen!
so three germans and a french horn ended up in my car, and we somehow managed to arrive at gordon biersch (with navigation help from my new german pals, who know palo alto better than i do). soon i had a Märzen in hand and there was good conversation all around. such a shame they had to leave the next day. but i had a brew with the germans and that’s what counts!
so a couple of days ago my sister posted this amanda palmer video on my facebook wall (and yes, this still has a connection to germany – amanda lived there):
my sis said she could see me singing this and she and my mom agreed that i sound like her. fast forward to today. i was listening to the dresden dolls’ “no, virginia” and it hit me – i could cover amanda palmer. not only that, i could cover amanda palmer covering radiohead – a cover of a cover. “claire virginia performs amanda palmer performing the popular hits of radiohead on the ukulele.” oh yeah.
what would this post be without news not connected to germany? i stumbled across a very geeky but lovely app for iPhone called hipstamatic (i could tell you i found it because neil gaiman, who is engaged to amanda palmer, was showing pics on twitter that he took with the vignette app on his android phone, and i wanted cool pictures too, but then i’d make another german connection and we can’t have that now, can we? oh. crap). i’ve been feeling artsy-fartsy and have turned out a few cool photos. so … why not make a photo book solely of hipstamatic prints taken on my iPhone? accompanied by poetry? it’s going to happen … eventually.
burn
gaze
capture
bicycle
rosen
i think that does it for this post – the only thing that could truly complete it would be a photo of me in lederhosen, and unless someone sends me a pair, it’s not going to happen. so, till next time … *hug*.
i’m starting this post at 11:50 p.m. – yes, it’s night time. sometimes night time is just the best time to write, so here i am. i’m trying to stay warm – my feet have a habit of being cold even when the rest of my body is warm – poor circulation?
i’ve been sick since wednesday or so, but i can finally say that i’m about 92% back to normal, which is wonderful, because i can start thinking about singing again. the actual singing probably won’t happen for a couple of days, because my throat is still recouping and is absolutely worn out from all the coughing, but i’m just glad to know that i can start producing something close to lovely sounds in the near future. sickness is a plague for singers because it often wipes out our ability to do what we love most – sing! i also need to start really working on my senior recital, and i brought just my recital music home with me so i would focus on it (it’s christmas break, and i’ve moved out of my campus dwelling until mid-january).
luckily, i had my wonderful boyfriend criss to take care of me while i was wallowing in my illness. now, he’ll deny that he was making a nice gesture, but i have a little story to tell about the sweetest thing he did for me while i was sitting in his apartment delirious and sick. one of criss’s roommates has the most adorable kitten named rosen – black cat, super soft. rosen was just a little devil when he first joined the house, so criss always goes on and on about how much he dislikes that critter (but i always tease him, telling him that i know deep down he loves that cat). lately, he’s been keeping rosen out of his room, but when i was curled up on the couch, he went out of his way to get rosen to follow him down the hallway, go in the room and hop up on the couch with me. filled me with glee. i have such a good boyfriend *beams*. plus, he made me soup – always good to have a guy around to make you soup. even if it’s just out of a can i bet he’s reading this right now and blushing. hi sweetie!
i’ve added a link to my side bar – gay family values. the leffew family lives in california – they are two gay men who have adopted two children, and they make videos showing that their family life isn’t different from that of a family with hetero parents. i may have mentioned them before – lovely couple, and adorable children. i’ve linked to their blog on the side, but please also check out their videos on youtube: gay family values. they recently posted a series of videos about their adoption experience – very enlightening!
i learned today that there may still be hope for me when it comes to arts and crafts – more on that in a future post, if i remember to post pictures!
let’s see if i’m going to be able to squeeze anything else out tonight or if i should just abandon my late night blogging efforts and go to bed. hmmm … i would like to say that it’s really nice to be in a relationship where i feel equal with my partner. having said that, there are many ways in which we’re not “equal”: he actually has a steady job and the ability to support himself. once i graduate i’m going to have to figure out how to do that. having had much more life experience, he’s also much more mature than i am, but luckily i have enough moments of maturity that it’s not too much of a problem. i think the big plus is that we’re able to communicate on the same level, and somehow that gets us on the same page. i like being able to have some sort of meaningful conversation with him. granted, we have some very different interests – i like classical music, he likes golf – but somehow we find some common ground as well. he’s almost like a mentor to me in a way too, and he balances out my zaniness and anxiousness. it’s good for partners to balance each other out – in most of my relationships our qualities just ended up clashing instead of balancing.
in other news … i’m taking a step toward longer hair. i’ve sported short styles since 2006 and i’m thinking it may be time for me to try something slightly longer again. question is: do i have the patience? it has been suggested that i make a youtube video about this – get my viewers to hold me to it. it worked well when i gave up hair dyeing for a year. we’ll see what happens.
i think this post is coming to a close. cheerio all!
i bet he’s reading this right now and blushing. hi sweetie!
